How to Handle Conflict at Work: Practical Tips and Tools
Leadership Strategies to Manage Difficult Conversations
If there's one thing to be certain about managing human beings, it's that there will be conflict. We'd also argue that conflict has gotten a bad rap of late. Conflict is essential for growth. Conflict isn't always bad (or always good). And conflict avoidance can be symptomatic of serious problems that might be structural, and/or poor communication.
Dolores Huerta writes,"“When you have a conflict, that means that there are truths that have to be addressed on each side of the conflict. And when you have a conflict, then it’s an educational process to try to resolve the conflict. And to resolve that, you have to get people on both sides of the conflict involved so that they can dialogue.”
At a time where we're seeing leaders dig in their heels and not give an inch, great leaders need to not only manage conflict but also do so in a way that won't disrupt the overall cohesion and morale of their teams. It's not enough to simply "win" an argument or enforce a decision. A truly great leader knows that managing conflict requires empathy, active listening, and a willingness to understand differing perspectives. And, a true leader gets to the structural issues that might be leading to this conflict. It's not fair to assume that everything is human-made. What lies underneath this human conflict?
Great leaders ensure that disagreements don't escalate into division. In doing so, they foster an environment of trust, respect, and collaboration, where differing opinions can be seen as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. Leadership is not about avoiding conflict but navigating it in a way that strengthens the team and promotes long-term success.
Steps to Manage Difficult Conversations
We've all been in that room when the tension is taut. Many of us want to just step outside and wash it away. Ideally, we can have processes and strategies in place to avoid a blow-out. Nevertheless, leaders have to be prepared to manage difficult conversations. Here's how:
Prepare Yourself Emotionally and Mentally
Before engaging in a tough conversation, it's essential for leaders to be mentally and emotionally prepared. This includes calming any strong emotions, clarifying your intentions, and approaching the conversation with a mindset of problem-solving rather than confrontation. Leaders should assess their own biases and be ready to manage their reactions.Create a Psychologically Safe and Open Environment
Setting the right tone is critical. Leaders should create an atmosphere where both parties feel safe to express themselves. This involves establishing ground rules for respectful communication and actively fostering an environment of trust. By using open body language, maintaining eye contact, and showing genuine interest in the other person's perspective, leaders encourage open dialogue and ensure the conversation is productive, not defensive.Practice Active Listening
Listen to understand rather than to respond. Leaders should ask open-ended questions, listen without interrupting, and show empathy. This helps build rapport. It also helps managers and leaders to better understand the concerns or emotions behind the other person's position. By acknowledging emotions and validating experiences, the leader ensures the other person feels heard and respected.Address the Issue, Not the Person
Focus on the problem at hand rather than personal attributes or faults. Adopt a problem-solving mindset and avoid getting caught up in personal attacks or blaming. It’s important to use "I" statements (e.g., "I feel concerned about...") rather than "you" statements (e.g., "You always...") to avoid sounding accusatory. This helps keep the conversation constructive and ensures that it stays centered on finding a solution.Collaborate on Solutions and Follow Up
The goal of any difficult conversation is to reach a resolution that benefits both parties. Collaborate with the other person to generate solutions. After discussing the issue, work together to come up with actionable steps or compromises. Finally, it’s important to follow up after the conversation to ensure that agreed-upon actions are being implemented and to show commitment to ongoing dialogue and improvement.“Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.” – Saul Alinsky